I believe that throughout life we encounter multiple times where we are tragically forced, or make cognitive decisions, to adapt; either utilizing these points of tension to improve or degrade. I think these moments happen all the time throughout our daily life, but at huge critical points, the amount of change is, usually, just as massive. We can approach these tangent points fully cognitive or let the passive subconscious have its will – there are plenty of other options including a melding of the two, but it seems to me that there are a lot of black and white situations when it comes these moments.
In the most recent history of me and my family, there have been some serious tension points. Loss/change of jobs, long-term relationships broke, no money or income, familial and friend’s deaths, moving, and uncertainty, are some of these manifestations. As my dad says: “these are great opportunities to lean into the issues”, and I tend to agree.
I ran across this article from Entrepreneur on how to reinvent yourself, certainly after my relatively recent massive tension-point-derived mindset change, but figured it to be useful even after the fact. Below are the 15 points, and I’m going to show how I try to implement them.
1. Do you really want to change?
- Do you really want to reinvent yourself? Why? Is it you, or situations under your control, that have put you in this predicament in the first place?
2. Wake up early.
- Accomplishing tasks, and not being rushed, before work helps me feel like work doesn’t take over my entire life; knowing that I’ve accomplished a lot before work allows me to remember that I’m not defined by my career. It also allows me to chip away at my personal goals and serve softballs to myself in terms of taking care of my mind and body. During rugby off-season, I try to get up at 4:30 and get into my personal work, whereas during rugby I try to be up before 6:30 (bc not getting home until after 9PM multiple times a week really runs me ragged).
3. Prioritize your tasks.
- This is an area that I can work on more diligently. I believe that in order to prioritize tasks I want to have defined, measurable, goals which are super hard to define a lot of times. Anywho, I try to list 3-5 tasks each morning, or right before bed, to get done (and always make my bed in the morning). This allows me to spend my time wisely; getting the important stuff taken care of (goal-oriented, people-building, merit-level, etc).
- The Ivy Lee Method:
- At the end of each workday, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. Do not write down more than six tasks.
- Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.
- When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
- Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
- Repeat this process every working day.
4. Attach yourself to the right people.
- Again this is a constant work-in-progress as I try not to be totally cold hearted and throw away friends, bc they don’t serve me in the current goals, but prioritizing my time with a give-and-take approach. Sometimes I want to get help. Sometimes I want to help. Sometimes people reach out for support. Sometimes some quality hangs with my chosen family are called for. Mentorship and being a mentor, learning and teaching, advancing and helping advance – these are some examples of people I try to align with. Also, sometimes some chill, no chill, fun, excitement, crying, bitching, or exploring is called for and being with the right companion(s) is super fly. In summary, I think it’s really important to give everyone the time of day and to treat everyone with love, but aligning yourself with many people who have different mindsets, experiences, outlooks, goals, interests, but also have a similar interest in furthering people and not suppressing others are crucial to keeping in life. (sorry for the run-on sentence 🙂 )
- When we continually learn and seek out new info it expands our value to ourselves and others IMO. We will never know everything, but being exposed to different things helps us to create new connections and gives us the opportunity to approach future scenarios with a wider array of tools. I prefer to read online, listen to podcasts, and speak with people. In fact, I’m constantly trying to learn – to be better – to expand –
6. Find a mentor.
- I touched on this in my last blog post, bc I think it’s important to find people that are after, or that have already achieved, your goals and aspirations for many reasons. They often have methods, knowledge, and/or experience in how to achieve them, or can give you points of view on how to get over that mountain. Mentors can be friends, bosses, writers… you name it. By aligning myself with people I admire I’m able to be mentored and inspired.
7. Don’t be afraid to experiment.
- For me this is natural. Always having to try new things (trust me there are some staples). Keeping an open mind and looking at life as trial and error creates some moot tension points sometimes, but all-in-all it’s been a great run so far. I experiment with diet, work, hobbies, exercise, sleep, and anything else I can think of to try to keep my life optimal.
8. Be honest with yourself — and others.
- Lying always catches up. No more so than when I lie to myself. Being honest, but not brutally honest, has helped me build solid relationships and grow myself.
9. Don’t justify your decision.
- Being transparent and open (hey look at this blog) demands that the audience realizes I’m laying it out there for better or worse. That’s my decision and I’m sticking with it. If the reality calls for a change then I will look into it and act accordingly, but it doesn’t need to be justified. Often times, it seems to me, justifying my actions weakens my stance and shows weakens and an insecurity in my thoughts. It’s bitten me a few times in the past; especially with relationships and rebuilding myself.
10. Get out of your comfort zone.
- A good friend of mine asked me how often I travel more than 5 miles outside of my day-to-day routine. Let’s think about it. For most of us, it’s not that often. How do muscle gains happen? Muscle is stressed beyond its usual elastic state and micro tears happen. They are then repaired which leads to bigger muscles (when fed properly). We grow when we are put into uncomfortable positions; we get used to being more and more uncomfortable. Situations that once made me uncomfortable now seem like everyday occurrences and I enjoy them. Travel, adventures, new groups of people, new hobbies, and a realization that being uncomfortable is good for has been a massive help in getting me to where I am today.
11. Manage your finances.
- Easier said than done for me. I tend to take the Salvador Dali approach and spend more money when I don’t have it than when I do. Unlike Dali, I don’t spend it to keep face, but rather, as a good friend of mine calls it, the BrOprah phenomenon. I get drunk and start yelling at my friends “You get a shot, and You get a shot, and You get a shot!”.
- Getting better at money management has come to fruition for me through investing money in ways that will benefit me long-term; workout equipment, training supplies, education, experiences, protection, and family. Although it can be stressful, it is satisfying knowing that what I do today helps define tomorrow.
- Current investment maneuvers: some stocks, guns and ammunition, blockchain currency, Roth IRAs, HSA to get through rugby seasons, a hobbies fund, a rainy day fund, a travel fund, and trying to get over the paycheck to paycheck lifestyle.
12. Follow the 24-hour rule.
- When meeting people I try to follow up with them within a day. It keeps everyone fresh on the mind and helps solidify the impression we left and gave. This has proven to be really effective when looking for new work, and connecting with new partners.
13. Make new lists every day.
- This runs parallel with #3 prioritizing tasks. Has that item been on the list for too many days/weeks? Let’s get it over with. Visualizing priorities helps me stay focused on achieving my goals.
- 80/20 rule. What 20% garners 80% of results? This is true for work, achievements, relationships, money, etc.
14. Take one step at a time.
- Jumping in with a full head of steam can be done by some, but for me starting from the ground floor works best. Building a strong foundation, and gaining confidence in the methods and decisions along the way (with small successes) helps define and shape the next step.
15. Accept failure.
- When I’m done I’m done. That doesn’t mean I won’t give it a bash. Aligning my goals and taking it step by step allows me to (more often than not) realize when I’ve put enough into something or if it’s time to GTFO. There really is no failure right? Just opportunities to learn and be better.
Hey, as always please leave any feedback, questions, and/or comments.